Kids Don’t Act Out. They Max Out. How to Support the Nervous System During the Holidays

December is the month when everything feels a little bigger in motherhood.

Bigger emotions.
Bigger reactions.
Bigger exhaustion.
Bigger needs.

The sugar, the later nights, the excitement, the noise, the travel, the screens and the lack of rhythm all pile onto a child’s nervous system. And while most parents try to manage “behavior,” what we’re really managing is capacity.

Because here’s the truth:

Kids don’t act out.
Kids max out.

And one of the most overlooked ways to support a child’s emotional regulation, especially in high-stimulation months, is something simple:

Fat.

Healthy saturated fat.
Throughout the day.
In predictable rhythms.

Most kids need at least 6 tablespoons of fat a day for regulation, stable moods and consistent energy. Ideally, this comes from fats that are naturally stable, such as butter, ghee, coconut oil, tallow and other mostly saturated fat sources.

Most kids are nowhere close to that. Especially in the winter months like December.

And it shows up as:

• meltdowns
• irritability
• emotional crashes
• “hangry” moods
• trouble settling at night
• sensory overwhelm
• sugar cravings
• difficulty transitioning between activities
• emotional fragility

Why Fat Matters for Regulation 

Healthy fats do so much heavy lifting for kids:

1. They stabilize blood sugar

Unstable blood sugar leads to irritability, crying, hyperactivity, “buzziness” and emotional volatility. Fat slows the release of glucose and keeps kids steady, especially in sugar-heavy months.

2. They support mineral absorption

Fat helps the body use fat-soluble vitamins (A, D, E, K) and improves the way minerals regulate the nervous system.

3. They feed the brain

The brain is 60 percent fat. Kids literally cannot regulate emotions well when they’re under-fueled.

4. They lower inflammation

Stable fat intake calms the gut and decreases inflammatory reactions that show up as skin flares, irritability, belly aches and behavior shifts.

5. They help the nervous system downshift

When kids have the fat they need, they transition better, sleep better and recover faster from stimulation.

These benefits compound in a big way, especially in December.

So here’s my mantra:

Six tablespoons of fat a day keeps the meltdowns at bay.

And yes, it really can be that simple.

Below are two cozy winter recipes we have used in my home for years.

They feel fun and nourishing, but they’re also quietly supporting blood sugar, minerals, gut health and emotional regulation.

Mineral Hot Cocoa for Nervous System Support

This is the hot cocoa I recommend to FEMs every winter.
It feels indulgent, but underneath you’re supporting blood sugar, minerals, gut lining and emotional capacity.

Ingredients

• 1 cup raw milk, coconut milk or a blend
• 1 tbsp grass-fed butter, ghee or coconut oil
• 1 tsp maple syrup or raw honey
• 1 scoop Mt. Capra Clean Minerals + Collagen (optional but wonderful) Use code: DRTONYA for 10% off!)
• pinch of mineral-rich salt
• optional: ½ scoop bloomed gelatin for gut and skin support (code: DRTONYA for 10% off)
• optional: dash of Ceylon cinnamon for blood sugar balance or my son’s favorite: a cinnamon stick 

Instructions

Heat the milk over low-medium heat until warm.
Whisk in fat, sweetener and minerals until silky and fully dissolved.
Taste and adjust the sweetness if needed.
Pour into a winter mug and enjoy slowly.

This recipe stabilizes blood sugar, supports mineral absorption, feeds the brain and helps kids downshift after overstimulation. It is exactly what December requires.

Peppermint Patty Fat Bombs

These sweet little patties are one of my favorite ways to get healthy fats into kiddos (and mamas). These feel like a treat and deliver the nourishment their nervous system needs.

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Inactive Time: 20 minutes

Equipment: Saucepan, mixing bowl, silicone ice-cube molds

Makes: 24 patties

Ingredients

LOVE ❤
• 1 cup coconut oil
• 1/3 cup raw honey
• 24 drops peppermint essential oil*
• 2 dark chocolate bars (85 percent cacao) or about 2 cups chocolate chips

*Use only essential oils labeled for internal use.

Instructions

Step 1: Make the filling
Mix the coconut oil, raw honey and peppermint oil in a bowl until smooth and fully combined.
Place in the freezer for 5–10 minutes to firm up slightly.

Step 2: Prep the chocolate
Melt the chocolate slowly over low heat, stirring continuously.
Remove from heat and let it cool to room temperature so it doesn’t melt the filling.

Step 3: Assemble in the silicone tray
Spoon a thin layer of melted chocolate into each mold and freeze for 5 minutes.
Add a small scoop of the peppermint filling to each cavity.
Cover with another layer of melted chocolate.

Step 4: Freeze + store
Freeze for 10–15 minutes until fully set.
Pop out of the silicone tray and store in a glass container in the fridge or freezer.

One or two is enough for little bodies.

They taste like dessert, but they steady the brain and nervous system.

If your child’s emotions feel “bigger” right now…
If they’re more sensitive, more clingy, more wired, more irritable…
If you’re seeing more bedtime struggles, more sibling tension, or more sugar crashes…

Remember, meltdowns aren’t manipulation. They are communication. 

In a month when stimulation is high, simply adding more:

• fat
  • minerals
  • hydration
  • protein
  • movement
  • connection
  • predictable rhythms

…can completely change the tone of your home.

Building true health is all about the micro habits - like getting real nourishment into your kids daily. Inside of Fiercely Empowered Mama, you learn how to nourish your family with real food recipes. But doors only open once per year. The waitlist is the place to be! You can sign up here.